Thank you for the Traffic

As much I love the rain, the constant torrential daily downpours are more repetitive than Astro and tend to mess things up. I’m late for performances. Cancelled dinner dates. And worst of all, horrendous traffic jams. So here is my rant about rain, sung to the tune of Abba’s Thank You For The Music (food posts will resume after this rant):

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You think you’re special, in fact you’re a bit of a pour
If you give me a soak, I’ve probably felt it before
But you have a talent, a wonderful thing
Coz everyone shivers when they see your lightning
And your nimbostratus cloud
All you want is to thunder out loud

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So I say
Thank you for the traffic, can you hear me screaming
I can’t stand in my shoes they’re squishing
I can live without it, I swear in all honesty
What would life be?
Without an umbrella, what are we?
So I say thank you for the traffic
And for soaking me thoroughly

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You come like clockwork, it’s almost like you like to stalk
You start with a shower exactly when it’s 4 o’clock
And I’ve often wondered, is your thunder a fart?
You found out that nothing can capture a heart
Like flatulence can?
Well, whatever lah, you must be a man

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So I say
Thank you for the traffic, gotta quit F1 racing
And take up a sport like fishing
Can’t you go Down Under, where they’re keeling o’er with despair
Why don’t you care?
They want to wash their cars, it’s unfair!
So I say thank you, but I’ve gastric
I’m starving in my Kenari.

So I say, let me eat my tomatoes
At least they’re melamine free.

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37 thoughts on “Thank you for the Traffic

  1. I swear that I would never ever work in downtown KL! I was stucked in the jam at Jalan Tun Razak for more than an hour just to get to Jalan Duta!!!!!

    Ahhh…yes…they should go Down Under where they are most appreciated and welcomed!

  2. as i read this post, i was really singing to the tune of the Abba’s song! Haha, i think you have a talent as a lyricist.. besides that of a blogger!

    ya, this year somehow the rain came too early and too much.. must be effects of global climate change.. sigh

  3. I second lfb, I love the rain.

    Wonderful to sleep in, reminds me of all those naughty times when I slept on a bed next to a window in the middle of a thunderstorm against my mother’s wishes (always trying to catch a cold, never worked).

  4. lotsofcravings: Yeah, good to have distractions to keep the blood from boiling!

    LFB: That’s coz you don’t get stuck in traffic as often as I do. 😛

    ling239: I guess we’re just meant to stay in at the office to put in longer hours. 😀

    Precious Pea: Yah! I can’t imagine working in that part of KL. Best to rely on LRT when working there. hehe.

    nileey: Exactly! Doesn’t help that drivers are overly cautious too.

    jesscet: Yep…we need to be aware that our actions affect the climate and that we all have to play our part.

    BBO: Glad you enjoyed it!

    Henry Yeo: There are easier ways to catch a cold, but I suppose sleeping in while it’s raining is one of life’s pleasures.

    cumi&ciki: Awwww….thank yew!!

    Tummythoz: I just threw it in for fun. It’s all nonsensical anyway. 😀

  5. did u read eliot n yeats in college?? when i came to the line about tomatoes, i fell off my chair–so random n so like u! i give u an A!

    n i love the rain hahaha

  6. yin: With your voice, I am honoured that you’d sing my lyrics. 🙂 Really wan. (Yay Young KL Singers!)

    terri: I read Yeats in school. 🙂 But some things kinda stick to you even though it’s more than half a lifetime ago. Ah, you get the point about the tomatoes! I’m so glad. 🙂

  7. Ah, I so agree! My poor, poor shoes! And I was starving in my car 2 nites ago. But right now, I’m gonna be distracted until I get hold of my ABBA CD ‘cos I forgot the tune to the other non-chorus parts. Argh!

    Oh, BTW, I like the tomato shot, did u like stand in the rain or what? Cool pix!

  8. fatboybakes: Can’t wait to hear your version. I bet Benny and Bjorn would immediately put you in a tight shiny outfit and force you to grow a beard.

    Barbie: The shoes part was a dedication to you. 😀 If you really want, you can call me and I could sing the song to you. hehe. The tomato shot was an amazing feat involving Bald Eagle as well. Not easy, u know! 😛

    Radha: Welcome! And glad you like the pics! 🙂

    hazza: I like injecting colour in anything. hehe.

  9. mamma nia seng…Hahaha…

    & right on cue as with the last 2 days, we have rain at 17.00. Here’s to another squishy shoe’d evening….

    So I say thank you for the traffic…..
    for making it worse for me…..

  10. I have to say, rain is LOVELY when I’m indoors, or at least inside a car, heh heh 🙂 As a moderate ABBA fan, I loved this… You missed the bridge, though (“I’ve been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair…”)

  11. this is every bit a food post. food that’ll accompany the endless traffic congestions and fill the hunger pangs. with bouncy melodies to forget about the biology of digestion.

    the LYRICAL Lemongrass certainly lives up to her name, eh? despite my cynicism towards their musical direction, this is one beautifully written song, LAH. 🙂

  12. Unkaleong: Don’t learn bad words from my tangechi ar.

    Dharm: Oooh another lyricist, I see. 😉

    Manggy: For a moderate Abba fan, you noticed the missing bridge. I’m afraid to find out how it’ll be if you were a die-hard fan. 😀

    backstreetgluttons: Hehe….for music, you’ll just have to hear it live…call me….. 😛

    HairyBerry: This is a post on the intense longing for food, not so much the actual food, I guess. And hey, it’s never too late to be a fan. An Abba fan, I mean.

    LFB: Oh yes, the squishy shoes syndrome. I’ve got a bunch of shoes that have been destroyed by the rain. So sad.

  13. That’s the other funny thing I read this morning that made me chuckle. (The first was how folk were invited to redesign the covers of literary novels for a dumbed-down market, as featured in Bibliobibuli’s blog.)

    Lemony, you might not believe this but a colleague and I redid the lyrics of the same song for a party thrown by Ikea. So it had sofas, Billy shelves, bargain bins and the like.

    As usual, you have the best pictures, Queen of DSLR. ^_^

  14. old is gold! Love the way u take the cold and cruel reality into your own spiritual means. and brought us a modern version of abba. Love you! Let’s us all sing it out loud thou i missed the 4-5p.m rain in K.L 🙂

  15. I don’t mind the rain as much as I mind the lightning and thunder. Those thunderclaps are scary loud! And when the lightning is closeby, you have to turn off your computer – so no playing around inside as well as outside.

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