1.
Hello. I have a friend. His name is Fatboybakes.
Fatboybakes loves to cook.
Fatboybakes loves to watch Nigella cooking. Fatboybakes loves Nigella.
2.
Behold Nigella!
(Photo credit: courtesy of Discovery Travel & Living)
If you’re like Fatboybakes and you love to cook and you love Nigella, set your scheduler for 7.00pm (Malaysian time) today and tune in to Channel 707 on Astro to catch NIGELLA’S CHRISTMAS KITCHEN 2 on Discovery Travel & Living. (Repeats on Mondays at 1400 hrs (2:00 pm), Tuesdays at 0200 hrs (2:00 am) and 0500 hrs (5:00 am) and Saturdays at 0200 hrs (2:00 pm) and 1400 hrs (2:00 pm).) Nigella reveals tips on how to avoid the Christmas queues (although at this point, with just 12 days to Christmas, it’s a bit too late lah as the malls will be bursting with last minute shoppers like me ack!) and the lure of the jingling tills by getting back to basics. In addition, watch her liven up traditional Christmas recipes (or just watch her) after being inspired on trips to Paris and Salzburg.
I’ll probably catch these episodes to get ideas on cooking castrated chicken (capon). Not that I’m cooking it myself. Not when there’s a better cook around in the form of my mother-in-law whom I love very very much.
NIGELLA’S CHRISTMAS KITCHEN 2 – episode descriptions as provided by Discovery Travel & Living:
The Big Freeze
Cooking at Christmas is a wonderful piece of slow-down therapy but that doesn’t mean that you have to be tied to the stove the entire time. Getting ahead and filling the freezer can be the answer to a Christmas prayer. In The Big Freeze, Nigella whips up a feast that includes Roast Pumpkin and Sweet Potato Soup with a Stilton swirl, Mincemeat pies and her Star from the East, and a Lamb and Date Tagine, which are all wonderful to either eat straight away or to store in the freezer for the arrival of last-minute guests.
The Stocking Filler
Nigella Lawson starts early by filling her shelves with homemade Beetroot and Ginger Chutney, Chilli Jelly, Spiced Fruits steeped in Ximinez Sherry and Winter Spiced Vodka. Nigella also makes her Christmas ‘Puddin’ Truffles and Christmas cookies, showing that Christmas doesn’t have to come off the shelf. Later, Nigella opens her doors to a few friends for a pre-Christmas brunch featuring an Espresso Martini, Triple Cheese and Onion Strata, Glazed and Toasted Vanilla Cake ‘Brioche’ and an antioxidant Fruit Salad.
Short & Sweet
Nigella enjoys the run-up to Christmas and prepares her Christmas larder in advance. She takes a trip to Paris to explore the chocolate haven of this famous city and, armed with inspiration, she then demonstrates a few sweet recipes including a chocolate rocky road and her favourite Christmas Pavlova. Nigella has a series of short cuts and culinary tips that will transform the familiar Sunday rib of beef into a sumptuous Christmas treat with her port and Stilton sauce. Also on the menu are Thai Beef Salad and Poinsettia Cocktail.
The Unhappy Hour
Although the very idea of canapés seems to scream 1970s, they are always popular with both the host and guests as Christmas entertaining comes underway. In this episode, Nigella offers some simple guides to getting them right. The salty combinations of parma ham, creamy goats cheese and figgy wraps provide a befitting start to Nigella’s spicy mini ribs and irresistible crab cakes. For an all-girls-get-together dinner party, Nigella whips up a cinnamon rubbed pousin with a scented couscous. Saving the day is Nigella’s never-fail hangover cure – a Cuban Chorizo and Black Bean Soup.
Life in the Old Bird Yet?
In Nigella’s mind, most of us would be too hangover to wake up for breakfast and thus Christmas lunch should be the meal to look out for. In this episode, she spruces up an age-old recipe of making turkey with the Domestic Goddess’s twist. Nigella shares her tips of cooking a turkey that will have your guest go, gobble gobble – one that is superbly spiced and juicily roasted. To go with it, Nigella adds Pancetta and Chestnut Sprouts, Gingerbread Stuffing, Maple Syrup Parsnips, and finishes off with a vodka-flamed Christmas Pudding.
(Photo credit: courtesy of Discovery Travel & Living)
Thanks to Western propaganda, we’re all yearning for a white Christmas and mistletoe and mulled wine (in sunny Kuala Lumpur?), so why not get totally in the mood with WILLIE’S PERFECT CHOCOLATE CHRISTMAS? If you’ve tuned in to Channel 707 before, you’ll probably have heard of Willie Harcourt-Cooze and his ‘wonky’ chocolate factory in Devon. Me? I really should stop watching DVDs (has anyone watched True Blood Season 2? yum yum) for some wholesome family-type programmes on television.
In WILLIE’S PERFECT CHOCOLATE CHRISTMAS, the eccentric chocolatier returns to his family home in Devon for a festive foodie extravaganza with his wife Tania and their three children. Willie will be taking care of the menu for the holiday season, preparing a series of mouth watering chocolate themed recipes, boozy chocolate mince pies, a classic chocolate tart and the perfect party treats for entertaining friends including a quince chocolate cheese and a chocolate and clementine cheesecake. WILLIE’S PERFECT CHOCOLATE CHRISTMAS premieres on ASTRO Channel 707 on Wednesday, December 23 at 9:00 p.m. (Malaysia time). (Repeats on Thursday, December 24 at 2300 hrs (11:00 p.m.), Friday, December 25 at 0900 hrs (9:00 a.m.) and 1500 hrs (3:00 p.m.), Saturday, December 26 at 1700 hrs (5:00 p.m.), Sunday, December 27 at 2000 hrs (8:00 p.m.), Monday, December 28 at midnight (12:00 a.m.), Thursday, December 31 at 1500 hrs (3:00 p.m.)).
If you’d like to catch Willie’s Easter series, tune in to Channel 707 on Wednesdays at 9:00 p.m (Malaysia time), starting from December 2 for Raising the Bar: Willie’s Chocolate Revolution. Repeats are on Mondays at midnight, Tuesdays at 6:00 p.m., Wednesdays at 1:00 p.m., Thursdays at 7:00 a.m. and Sundays at 11:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m.
3.
This Christmas, I racked my brains to come up with an appropriate gift for my friend, Fatboybakes, who loves Nigella. This is a picture of Nigella, with gorgeous glowing skin that we can only pray we are blessed with when we turn 50.
(Photo credit: courtesy of Discovery Travel & Living)
This is my gift to Fatboybakes, a picture of him with gorgeous glowing skin that we can only pray we are blessed with when we turn 50.
(Photo taken by and skillfully edited by Lyrical Lemongrass)
Notice how very much they look alike?
For the Cookbook Giveaway Contest, all you have to do is come up with the wittiest quote for Fatboybakes in the final picture. Email you answers to lyrical(dot)lemongrass(at)gmail(dot)com by Monday, noon, December 28, 2009. Winners will be announced on December 31, 2009. Multiple entries are permitted. Easy peasy, right?
And yes, PRIZES! I have FIVE cookbooks to give away to five witty winners, courtesy of Discovery Travel & Living:
2 x David Rocco’s Dolce Vita
2 x Willie’s Chocolate Factory Cookbook
1 x Kylie Kwong’s My China
Sorry peeps, but this contest is only open to those currently residing in Malaysia. Yes, even Fatboybakes can participate in this contest since I know he isn’t going to leave the country anytime in the near future.
Merry Christmas, y’all!
Palefaced Angelic Complexion. If you can’t be Just Heavenly, Almost Heavenly will do.
Oh look, he got the mortician as his make up artist.
What do you %$@&^!! mean have to #$^*&%!! reside in #$&%@#$!!! Malaysia??!! $@#$%^&*$!!!
Cis bededah..
I not happy.
But if inspiration strikes, I will still participate..:D
fatboybakes: Are those your entries?
gfad: Haiyah, if you have a Malaysian address, it’s okay oso lar.
yes, those are my entries…..
thx, fbb, will put them into the GIANT box of entries. 😀
nigella may have taut luscious breasts.. but I, FATBOYBAKES am taut and luscious ALL OVER! 😛
*LOL* Your first few lines read like the ladybird books I recently unearthed whilst moving back and is currently my toilet literature.
I will be back with what I hope will be the winning entry 😉
Entry #1:
Mmmm.. I hope thamby snaps this pose and uses it in her Christmas giveaway. Otherwise damn wasted my color coordinated shirt and strawberry& cream scone..
Entry #2:
I don’t mind Nigella serving me some of her Christmas jam..
“Starve to look good?
NEHHH!!!
Eat cream and be happy, I’d say!”
“This is probably the closest I can get to Nigella’s…”
Entry #3:
Of course it’s not all that staring at Nigella that makes me healthy. I do body combat, ok?
“”Shhhh…the secret to my smooth skin? My gorgeous scones with clotted cream. *winks*”
Entry #4:
The things that I do just to be featured in the Queen’s blog..
Entry #5:
You have to look up coquettishly, place the finger at the right spot on the cheek, open up and stick out that tongue just so, not too much. There! The Fatboy-posing-as-Nigella-eating-a-scone pose!
I’m glad *some* people read instructions. 😛 You’re supposed to email me your entries lah…..*looking towards Abu Dhabi*.
Entry #6:
I write well. I bake and cook well. Maybe this seductive pose with food will get me the book AND cook show deal..
I’m just following the crowd.. *looks at FBB and ciki*
Oh this is so right up my alley. Lemme think of something suitable…. hehe.
Love this post!
its the jamu i sprinkled into the scones-lar…
oh shoot, i didnt realise it was the question mark in the speech bubble that we’re supposed to fill. groan.
entry no 1 was fine. entry no 2 has to be reworded to:
dangit, this is the last time i’m using nirvana memorial as my makeup artist.
Hehe… I know the rules are to email but it’s kinda fun to read all of GFAD’s entries. 😀
I suppose I shall have to relax the rules. Entries in this comment box are also permitted. 🙂 Tis the season to be jolly. hohoho.
I don’t like Nigella. She whips up a five course meal in les than 20 minutes and looks absolutely fabulous. I slave in the kitchen for hours, slicing and dicing, the food that comes out looks barely presentable and I look like I’ve been working in a coal mine. I hate Nigella….
Entry #7:
I can cook. I can write. I’ve got a well-endowed.. err.. um.. butt. Maybe they can shoot my show from behind..
LL: You’re gonna receive plenty of pressies from Santa for being such a generous soul… 😀
Life4Beginners: Glad to be able to entertain such an articulate writer! 🙂
FBB: Don’t take offense at all the jokes, ok? Am not poking fun at you personally, but at your photo in relation to Nigella. 😀
what am i doing… i am middle fingered my face absence-mindedly as i am eating, hell i miss Nigella……oh gosh my deep emotions for her is written all over my face
i wish i can win LOL!
chis bedebah..is it necessary to put a gun to my La Mer-ed cheeks? I’ll lick cream & show my tongue anytime if you ask nicely!
Oh Leroy, is that your entry??
gfad: I’m still waiting for the pressies! (from Aboo Derby) (with a 2.4 engine)
little fish: thanks for the entry! (naughty naughty!)
TNG: Eh, how you know he uses La Mer? 😛
What 2.4L engine. Aim higher, babay. Like my 5.7L engine.. 😀
Cheng Yi photoshopped to ultimate smooth skin. LOL
Entry #8:
Why one should NOT go for botox:
“I am laughing wat..”
Since you’re allowing it here, i shall post mine RIGHT now:
1. Maybe I’m born with it, maybe I’m just flushing from watching Nigella’s play with her butter.
2. Nigella and I have many things in common: we write, we bake, we indulge in our own goodies, we have porcelain skin and we’re just as well endowed – top half at least!
3. I spread butter on my face every night. Look at it glow! Who needs Kiehl’s or La Mer and all that jazz . Cis!
4. Look who’s smooth genes Ah Boy has inherited!
5. Good skin comes with a pair of good boobs, in my case…moobs (man boobs)!
6. Nigella left me a plate of her fabulous scones and kissed me right here under the mistletoe last night. I can hear her kids singing “I saw mummy kissing AhPa Claus last night” right about now.
7. What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and AhPa Claus? I stop at 3 Ho’s…HO! HO! HO!
“Who needs make-up when the Queen can make you glow like Nigella?”
“Honestly, I really look that good. I just had a little help. In this age and time, who doesn’t?”
1. i might not look like Al Capone.. but i eat capon daily to stay this young and hot.. i am Ahpa.. hear me cluck! Nigella duck! there’s a new cock in town!
2. 20 somethings 30 somethings,
whatever your age may be,
Ahpa is fairest in the land,
even Nigella is no where near me!
3. Nigella! Poke me ONE MORE TIME , with your stubby fingers and the CAKE GETS IT!
4. Don’t hate me coz i am silky smooth and beautiful. I sleep all day, get a healthy dose of nigella in the magazine when I am on the potty and eat fatty cakes all day to get this supple!
5. young, dumb and full of C***. (cake la.. the youth of today i tell you.. mind in the gutter)
Enuf to bet munkey or not? Chis..
xoxo,
the cheeky munkey.. ciki
“Dashing thru the rain,
For the yearly weight gain,
Come to Fatboybakes,
For all your Christmas cakes!”
Hmmmph…. I need to 1-up that cheeky and gib her a run for her monay! Lemme try:
8. Ciki stop telling lies. It’s got nothing to do with sleep or alcohol. Or cake. I’m just a follower of Nic’s revolutionary Colgate mask regime. Did you know that floride is toothpaste helps to cleanse your skin from impurities and dark spots, leaving skin refreshed, soft and glowing. And you thought this old man don’t know a thing or two. Cis!
How about it?
Since I live over at the other side of the causeway, I can’t win anything.. But I can post my answer here anyway right?
“This is my 1001th piece of cake now. Why ain’t my skin looking like Nigella’s yet! The recipe says by the 500th piece I will see a miraculous transformation.
Looks like AWOF is right all along, I belong to the photoshop world. Her powder cake(ing) on my face digitally is easier than eating real cake!”
or, or …
9. If ya think my scones are light, fluffy and glorious…try poking my face. I bet you’ll have an orgasm. Just like when I watch Nigella working in the kitchen *cough cough* Thamby, please remove the last line.
Weii!? No need for a Vulcan Nerve Pinch lah, I can finish this heavenly sweet-tastic dessert all by myself, set my mouth to “Gobble!”
Oh, d’owh!! Forgot to mention, that’s my entry up above!! 🙂 excuse my absent-mindedness :)) here it is, repeated again (hopefull it’s just as funny the second time round….)
“Weii!? No need for a Vulcan Nerve Pinch lah, I can finish this heavenly sweet-tastic dessert all by myself, set my mouth to “Gobble!””
“Cis, that thamby sure to remove my dimple when she photoshop. Better put my finger there so she can’t smooth it out.”
Nigella! I’m eating one of your scones! Call me!
entry….
aiyahhhhh…. taste just like nigella , soft, smooth, creamy and the perfect pastry…..if only my tooth will stop aching!!!!!
Arrrrrrggggggh!! I should’ve been following this thread more closely. Yes! It is my entry. I emailed it to you with a greedy gleam in my eyes after seeing this post.