As much I love the rain, the constant torrential daily downpours are more repetitive than Astro and tend to mess things up. I’m late for performances. Cancelled dinner dates. And worst of all, horrendous traffic jams. So here is my rant about rain, sung to the tune of Abba’s Thank You For The Music (food posts will resume after this rant):

You think you’re special, in fact you’re a bit of a pour
If you give me a soak, I’ve probably felt it before
But you have a talent, a wonderful thing
Coz everyone shivers when they see your lightning
And your nimbostratus cloud
All you want is to thunder out loud

So I say
Thank you for the traffic, can you hear me screaming
I can’t stand in my shoes they’re squishing
I can live without it, I swear in all honesty
What would life be?
Without an umbrella, what are we?
So I say thank you for the traffic
And for soaking me thoroughly

You come like clockwork, it’s almost like you like to stalk
You start with a shower exactly when it’s 4 o’clock
And I’ve often wondered, is your thunder a fart?
You found out that nothing can capture a heart
Like flatulence can?
Well, whatever lah, you must be a man

So I say
Thank you for the traffic, gotta quit F1 racing
And take up a sport like fishing
Can’t you go Down Under, where they’re keeling o’er with despair
Why don’t you care?
They want to wash their cars, it’s unfair!
So I say thank you, but I’ve gastric
I’m starving in my Kenari.

So I say, let me eat my tomatoes
At least they’re melamine free.

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