Did you know that the kiwifruit acts as a meat tenderizer? There are so many ways to tenderize meat. You could physically tenderize it with a meat mallet, or you could use natural tenderizers, like the kiwifruit, to tenderize it. Kiwis, like papayas and pineapples, contain enzymes that apparently break down surface meat fibres, so I put it to the test and got myself a sirloin from Jason’s to do the experiment. Unlike FBB aka the Arch Nemesis aka Tangechi, I am not “atas” at all, and will gladly eat a cheap cut for the sake of science.
I spent a grandiose amount of RM18 for that slab of meat.
Using half a kiwifruit (which is all one needs – any more and it would be a waste), I rubbed the kiwifruit all over the sirloin, but the fruit was very ripe and disintegrated in my hand. There is a picture on my SD card of the raw meat with green glob and tiny black seeds all over it but I’ve decided not to share it here. Unsightly is an understatement. Ordinarily, when you see green stuff on your meat, you’d be inclined to throw it out anyway. After half an hour of checking on it in the fridge, I decided to just wipe off all the kiwi from the meat using a paper towel. Try not to leave the fruit on the meat for too long as the meat may become mushy.
With a squeaky clean piece of meat (yes, I removed every single seed), I sprinkled on some steak rub that my friend, Adle, got me from Montreal. Good stuff to mask any lingering kiwi flavour (unless, of course, you enjoy the flavour of kiwifruit on your meat…no one’s judging you). While cooking the sirloin, I tossed a simple salad made with momotaro tomatoes, kiwifruit and a balsamic dressing. By the time I was done, the steak was ready.
And the verdict? The meat was tender, so I can conclude that my RM18 experiment, admittedly an amateurish effort at best, was successful.
At least I have evidence to prove this theory, unlike a certain Tangechi who put up a picture of a heart, purportedly mine, and alluded to it being hard. Tell me, can an angel’s heart be any harder than a summer’s breeze? A gentle caress of butterfly whispers? Bordier butter on a crisp piece of toast, melting on the tongue, then filling the mouth with the scent of a thousand flowers?