To tenderize or not to tenderize – the kiwifruit question

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Did you know that the kiwifruit acts as a meat tenderizer?  There are so many ways to tenderize meat.  You could physically tenderize it with a meat mallet, or you could use natural tenderizers, like the kiwifruit, to tenderize it.  Kiwis, like papayas and pineapples, contain enzymes that apparently break down surface meat fibres, so I put it to the test and got myself a sirloin from Jason’s to do the experiment.  Unlike FBB aka the Arch Nemesis aka Tangechi, I am not “atas” at all, and will gladly eat a cheap cut for the sake of science.

I spent a grandiose amount of RM18 for that slab of meat.

Using half a kiwifruit (which is all one needs – any more and it would be a waste), I rubbed the kiwifruit all over the sirloin, but the fruit was very ripe and disintegrated in my hand.  There is a picture on my SD card of the raw meat with green glob and tiny black seeds all over it but I’ve decided not to share it here.  Unsightly is an understatement.  Ordinarily, when you see green stuff on your meat, you’d be inclined to throw it out anyway.  After half an hour of checking on it in the fridge, I decided to just wipe off all the kiwi from the meat using a paper towel.   Try not to leave the fruit on the meat for too long as the meat may become mushy.

With a squeaky clean piece of meat (yes, I removed every single seed), I sprinkled on some steak rub that my friend, Adle, got me from Montreal.  Good stuff to mask any lingering kiwi flavour (unless, of course, you enjoy the flavour of kiwifruit on your meat…no one’s judging you).  While cooking the sirloin, I tossed a simple salad made with momotaro tomatoes, kiwifruit and a balsamic dressing.  By the time I was done, the steak was ready.

And the verdict?  The meat was tender, so I can conclude that my RM18 experiment, admittedly an amateurish effort at best, was successful.

At least I have evidence to prove this theory, unlike a certain Tangechi who put up a picture of a heart, purportedly mine, and alluded to it being hard.  Tell me, can an angel’s heart be any harder than a summer’s breeze?  A gentle caress of butterfly whispers?  Bordier butter on a crisp piece of  toast, melting on the tongue, then filling the mouth with the scent of a thousand flowers?

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For more information on Zespri kiwifruit, check out their website.  The above post is part of the Zespri 14-Day Daily Scoop of Amazing Challenge.

Malaysiakiwi, a Malaysian baked fish recipe with kiwifruit

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Well the kiwifruit eventually arrived this afternoon, so I’m no longer kiwi-less.  Have been doing all these Mat Salleh-type recipes so far, so figured I’d do something closer to home.  Gosh, I haven’t made this dish in years.  I used to cook it in a turbo broiler because that little contraption can go up to pretty high temperatures, but my turbo broiler has since exhaled its last breath and mum lives too far away for me to borrow hers on demand, so I’ve learnt to use my oven instead.

It’s best eaten with a plate of steaming white rice.

Malaysiakiwi

Ingredients

Fish fillet (about 600g)
Banana leaf
Aluminium foil
(A) 1 1/2 tbsp curry powder
(A) 2 tsp chilli paste
(A) 1 tsp turmeric powder
(A) 2 stalks lemongrass (sliced finely – root end only)
(A) 2 tbsp oil
(A) salt to taste
(B) 1 tbsp tamarind mixed with 100ml water and squeezed for juice
(B) 100ml coconut milk
(B) 1 tbsp sugar
3 ladies fingers, sliced thinly
1 brinjal, chopped
1 kiwifruit, cut lengthwise
1 tbsp finely shredded bunga kantan
1 lime, cut into wedges

Method

Heat oil in wok. Fry (A) until fragrant. Add (B) and bring to a boil. Cook until gravy is thick. Put aside.

Place banana leaf on the aluminium foil. Put a couple of spoonsful of gravy on the banana leaf and place a fish fillet on the gravy. Pour a bit more gravy over the fish, then place some ladies fingers and kiwifruit around the fish.

Wrap the package neatly, then place the package in the oven.

Bake at 250C for about 20 minutes or until foil package puffs up.

Remove package. Cut open and serve with shredded bunga kantan and lime.

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For more information on Zespri kiwifruit, check out their website.  The above post is part of the Zespri 14-Day Daily Scoop of Amazing Challenge.

“Where’s My Jamban”, inspired by Bruno Mars and Fatboybakes – a kiwifruit song

I ran out of kiwis and the kiwi gods said that they weren’t able to send me any kiwis yesterday (must be false idols lah; aren’t gods supposed to have superpowers?), so I I wasn’t able to perform the task for today (use it in a meal and share the picture with your readers). *sob*  But the show must go on, even though I’m kiwi-less.

Fact – kiwis improve bowel function.

(Sung to Bruno Mars – When I Was Your Man, and dedicated to my arch nemesis, Fatboybakes)

Where’s My Jamban?

Same shit, and you feel just a little thinner now
Farts sound like ammo, you sure don’t sound the same
When you step into the loo it’s like warfare in town
Cause your fart breaks a little and the loo’s aflame
And it all just sound like poo, poo, poo, poo, poo…

Hmmm too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you pampers and washed your hand
Should have hidden all the kiwis when I had the chance
Take back all my kiwis turn on all the fans
Now FBB is pooing, and he’s pooing in my jamban.

Cool cakes, pavlovas, curries and outlandish purees
This kiwi has turned you into a good housewife
Now you hafta, hafta get to clean up the mess you made
And the smell haunts me every time I close my eyes
It all just sounds like poo, poo, poo, poo, poo…

Too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you pampers and washed your hand
Should have hidden all the kiwis when I had the chance
Take back all my kiwis turn on all the fans
Now FBB is pooing, and he’s pooing in my jamban.

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Photograph kindly provided by Fatboybakes.

For more information on Zespri kiwifruit, check out their website.  The above post is part of the Zespri 14-Day Daily Scoop of Amazing Challenge.

Post scriptum:  To the Zespri gods, please take this as my contribution for Day 12 (Friday).